VenomDeMilo's Xanga

Der Fuehrer's Face

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 02:42:46 GMT

HAHAHAHA what the fuck.

An Open Letter To Everyone Who Passes Me By On The Street

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 22:25:49 GMT

To the assholes who think it's okay to comment on my clothing:

My name is Amara L. Miller. Contrary to popular belief, my name is not Little Bo Peep, Mary, Alice, Raggedy Anne, or anything else. I did not lose any fucking sheep. I never had sheep, or lambs, or whatever the fuck, and therefore, they could not have followed me to school. I am not a maid, and I have never been to Wonderland, Germany, Deutschland, or France. I do not "work somewhere", although I'd like to, if their uniforms were this cute. I am not in a play, I am not in a carnival, I am not from a festival. But, most of all, I am not a sheep-herder, so for fuck's sake, STOP ASKING ME THAT.

You have no idea how sick I am of getting this crap stuffed down my throat every time I step out of the house. It's as if in leaving the sanctuary of my home I am forfeiting my right to be treated like another human being rather than an exhibit at a museum. You are not cute, and it is not clever to ask me, "HEY, YOU LOSE SOME SHEEP? I HAVE SOME IN MY TRUNK," as if I have not heard that at least six times in the last hour. Seriously, grandpa; like you, it's getting a bit old.

Whenever I bring this up to anyone, I get told, "Well, if you're going to dress differently, you have to recognize that and be prepared for being treated differently." Okay. Why? I get that people are going to treat me differently, but why should I be okay with that? Why should I have to deal with Average Joe getting his kicks by sneering some idiot line like, "Hey, Mary, I've got a few little lambs for you to follow," just because I, like everyone else in the world, choose my own style of dress?

Yeah, yeah, I get that people are stupid as all hell. Really, I do. But why the fuck should I have to suck it up when every time I am going about my own business, I am interrupted by some jerk who thinks they're just the bee's knees for relating my frilly bonnet to some nursery rhyme sheep herder, JUST BECAUSE I WORE IT? That's like saying, HEY MAN, THAT GIRL WAS WEARING A MINISKIRT, SHE WAS TOTALLY ASKING TO BE RAPED. Yeah, fuck you. Fuck you right in the ear. That girl can wear a skirt and she is not subconsciously saying she wants some action (well, she might, but you get the idea). I am not wearing lacey blouses and the like because I am subconsciously asking people to give me attention and remark on my clothing.

I don't mind if someone says, "Your dress is cute," or even, "Are you in a play?", assuming it's genuine and not sarcastic, because normally, that's how I would respond to seeing someone dressed as such. But making stupid relations -- It's the same as the asshole who says to the goth, "Hey, Morticia, Halloween was over months ago!" It's just rude. And that's why I would love to ask the world to kindly piss off and stop thinking it's okay to ask me if I lost my sheep, where they can buy a doll like me, how to get to Wonderland, etc. But especially if I lost my fucking sheep. God, I hate that.

I've resolved to inform the next smartass who asks me if my name is Bo Peep or anything related that no, I am not a sheep herder. Most sheep herders do not dress this cute. Most sheep herders dress like homeless people. They do not wear cute clothes. Sheep herders are constantly picking up their sheep and carrying them around, getting pissed on, climbing hills, sheering, and so on. They do not wear $250 dresses for this task.

I will tell them: I am a Lolita. I wear this dress because it is an expression of my own nature. That doesn't mean I'm asking you to give me a commentary. It means that just as some kids like to wear baggy clothes to appear intimidating and some girls like to wear tight clothes to give off sexual appeal, I like to wear frilly clothes because it's an extravagent lifestyle... and it's adorable.

That's all. I'm just very sick of it.

Sincerely,

Amara ichigo.

you are not a l33t hax0r-saurus rex.

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 00:52:53 GMT

Monday, June 19, 2006

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 05:10:05 GMT

All of Hyde's new music sucks. He went from "I WANNA LICCKKK YOOUUUU" to "JESUS I WANT TO PLEASE YOU ALL NIGHT LONG" and he is openly athiest. I mean, maybe if he was actually Christian, I could respect him for using his music as an outlet or proclamation of his faith, but he's NOT CHRISTIAN. He even SAYS he isn't and he's just writing all this stuff so that people will think he is "more Western". Fuck you, Hyde, why aren't you an albino vampire anymore? D:<

In other news, I see June almost every day so my life is great! I'm dieting. I'm filling my wardrobe with happiness and sunshine, straight from the hands of Isobe Akinore. I'm all alone at school now that Christal is moving, but I've learned independance. It's nice.

I'm pretty sure all of my friends except for June, Elize, and perhaps Christal hate my guts right now, or at least have lost any respect they had for me before. :'X

Monday, June 12, 2006

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 03:43:34 GMT

Someone hacked some girl's account and posted my picture all over it so now everyone thinks I am a l337 h4x0r.

It has it's ups and it's downs. ;_;
I mean. I wish I was a l337 my5p4c3 h4x0r!
: (

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 04:25:51 GMT

I need a job. I need a job. I need a job.
I need to go back to school. Tomorrow. I'll go to school tomorrow. I'll wear my dress, because it is the only thing I have left in my closet that is not for sale. And my cutsew. Oh yeah. I NEED WHITE SHOES I FUCKING HATE THESE HOOKER HEELS KDSJFHLDSC;SDFSDF.

My worries are small and pointless lately.
I sleep hugging my parasol and hoping I'll wake up because June will call me.
I bite my nails and I play Animal Crossing and Mario Kart.
I waste life away on Y!AJ, babyssb.co.jp, and Closet Child.

And NookBay. Fuck yes.

Ken is selling AMARA DOLL shirts.

It's from my HAPPY FRIDAY THE 13TH LOLOL drawing in paint 2198347324 years ago. I love how I don't dress like that anymore. XD;

But it's flattering. AMARA NINGYO 8D

I am buying another dress! In saxophone. :'D

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Tue, 06 Jun 2006 01:52:22 GMT

I am sitting here, happily dressed in full-out Baby regalia. I get see my lady friend twice a week. School ends soon.

If I had a job and I was about 50 pounds lighter, life would be perfect.

Workworkworkwork
I need someone to cross animals with. Who has wifi on their DS?

Friday, May 19, 2006

Fri, 19 May 2006 20:45:46 GMT

You know, I was thinking about the difference between the XANGA SUBSCRIPTION DIGEST I get in my email every day versus my friends page on LiveJournal, and this thought occurred to me:

While the people on my friends page are generally more intelligent as a whole, they are also the people who don't have lives. I read my Subscriptions, and everyone is like "SO I WENT OUT AND DID THIS LA LA LA IT WAS COOL MY FRIENDS AND I BLAH BLAH" etc.

Is it wrong that I still consider myself one of the LJ kids, though? I mean, Truman is radical, but I don't really do anything but sit at home and play video games and sell my clothes and wish I had more money so I can buy a saxophone JSK and embroider and dick around on the internet. O YA AND DO DRUGZ B/C I AM A TROOMIN STEWDINT LOL Not really.

Everyone has heard the rumours about it and how it's infested with drugs and gangs and people beating the shit out of each other every day and everyone there is a moron academically, and to be honest, a lot of that is true except for the gangs and people beating each other up. And the kids that do drugs are really plentiful, yeah, but some of the kids who are really the most intelligent and friendly are fans of mary-jane.

Most of the kids in my LT are druggies, but they're just like normal kids, but instead of being like "HEY YO LET'S GO PLAY HALO AFTER SCHOOL DOG" they'll say "HEY YO LET'S GO PLAY HALO AND FATAL FRAME AFTER SCHOOL -- WHILE STONED :D" and it makes me lolirl. In fact, I think the only person in my LT who I really, truly dislike is Scott, and he's the cleanest one there besides probably me.

(YES. I HAVE GONE TO TRUMAN FOR THREE AND A HALF MONTHS AND I AM STILL NOT A DRUGGIE. CAREFUL, DON'T SHIT YOURSELF.)

Anyhow, Scott is a dickhead, and he's also the teacher. He should probably stop looking up to LT-leader Kyle so much. And he's like 20, he's hardly just gone through puberty. Christal and I like to tell him to grow facial hair and wear flannel shirts and overalls to school and maybe he'll be a tiny bit more authoritative. It's funny to imagine what a teacher at FWPA would say if I said that to them. I'd probably be expelled. Truman is so relaxing <3

I have people to talk to, although not many good day-to-day friends like I had at FWPA (Ji Eun, Elize, Sarra, etc.), except for maybe Christal or Kyle. But that's okay, I'm not lonely. I have June to talk to during the day, and I guess lately I've been a lot less dependant on other people to make me feel needed. I guess it's because I've found the two things I need to be happy; June and Lolita. :D

I'm going to sound like an asshole, but being amalolita at Truman is really, really, really interesting. It's funny how all the GANXSTERS react to it, mostly, and the gothpunk kids who are still allergic to the colour pink. There's this chick who talks to stuffed animals and meows in between every word because she's a total furry (there are like 5 billion furries at Truman), but she thinks I'm a total freak because I show up lacey and pastel every day. PWAHAHAHAHAHAetc.

There is one bea-- Mexican ganxster kid in my class called Ben who is absolutely fascinated by Lolita in general. He read the first chapter of Shimotsuma Story and likes looking through my G&L Bibles and is always asking me questions about it. I think he's probably just fascinated by the fact that it's a 'subculture' he's never even heard of before, and that's a big deal, like when an English major discovers the interrobang!

Speaking of, I finally did it. I ordered a JSK and a parasol from Baby, the Stars Shine Bright, and a pair of shoes from Angelic Pretty. The total comes to about $450. ARGGHHH BUT IT'S SO WORTH IT.

Yesterday, I spent $124 on shoes. Something is wrong with me. 8D;;

On a side note: Yukari Tamura is the most annoying thing in the world. Why am I listening to her. D:

it's me and my girlfriend on a happy sunshiny spring day

Thu, 18 May 2006 03:44:47 GMT

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Sat, 13 May 2006 09:03:02 GMT

You kids are doing okay. :] I'm glad.

Truman is really wonderful, but I actually kinda miss some of you. Even those of you who I hate with a passion.

Maybe it's because my only reassuring friend here is Lolita. But everyone hates her, and it's hard to protect her sometimes.

Maybe I'll visit again someday before you all leave.